TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: • You have two cows. • You sell one and buy a bull. • Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. • You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION • You have two cows. • You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. • You are surprised when the cow drops dead.
A SOUTH AFRICAN CORPORATION • You have two cows. • You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION • You have two cows. • You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. • You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION • You have two cows. • You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION • You have two cows. • Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION • You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. • You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION • You have two cows. • You count them and learn you have five cows. • You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. • You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. • You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION • You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. • You charge others for storing them.
A HINDU CORPORATION • You have two cows. • You worship them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION • You have two cows. • You have 300 people milking them. • You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN ISRAELI CORPORATION • So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? • They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. • They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION • You have two cows. • That one on the left is kinda cute... so are the sheep.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: • You have two cows. • You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. • The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells, the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. • The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. • Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. • No balance sheet provided with the release. • The public buys your bull.
![MySpace](javascript:GetThis('A bovine fairytale', '<a href="http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2002/capitalism-p1.php"><img src="http://www.boreme.com/boreme/x-big/capitalism.jpg" alt="A bovine fairytale" border="0" /></a>', 'http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2002/capitalism-p1.php', '')){kind=link}