The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University
of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
"profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of
enjoying it as well.
BONUS QUESTION: IS HELL EXOTHERMIC (GIVES OFF HEAT) OR ENDOTHERMIC
(ABSORBS HEAT)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's law (gas cools
off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed), or some variant. One
student, however, wrote the following:
_______________________
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul goes to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions
that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than
one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion,
we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that,
"it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account
the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus
I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary
of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not
accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby
proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa
kept shouting "Oh my God."
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lennyC(185 days ago)
I would recommend that everyone who watches this video should read the book "Whatever happened to Hell" by John Blanchard
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maverickrazor(208 days ago)
I wonder if he managed to bed Ms. Teresa Banyan before he finished his final year. I'd like to think that he used his obviously brilliant mind to talk her knickers off.
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