NICKNAMES • If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah. • If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Sh*t-Head and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT • When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY • A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. • A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale
BATHROOMS • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S. • The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS • A woman has the last word in any argument. • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS • Women love cats. • Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS • A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. • A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post. • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. • Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secretfears and hopes and dreams. • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY • Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
• What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now. • What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW
![MySpace](javascript:GetThis('Men and women differ...', '<a href="http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2002/men_women-p1.php"><img src="http://www.boreme.com/boreme/x-big/men_women.jpg" alt="Men and women differ..." border="0" /></a>', 'http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2002/men_women-p1.php', '')){kind=link}