If Microsoft made cars... - General Motors press release

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At COMDEX recently, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. Oh yeah, and last but not least . . . you'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off!

If Microsoft made cars...
General Motors press release

Guest: Mystic Meg (658 days ago)

Everyone is still using Microsoft OS, Apps - but nobody is buying SUV's with 10mpg.. Just maybe Bill is right..

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Retzypoo (977 days ago)

omg... Jim you're so stupid... learn to readddd

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witchiesue (686 days ago)

PMSL!!! This is soooo funny, Number 7 is my personal fave!

maverickrazor (981 days ago)

hey jim, you're the asshole because you read it all wrong

jimamily (92 days ago)

Latest comment: " Cars 2010 An automobile, motor car or car is a wheeled motor vehicle used for transporting passengers, which also carries its own engine or motor. Read More: www cars com, http://www.wwwcarscom.com/ "

Guest: Pharme348 (123 days ago)

Hello! fbdfeee interesting fbdfeee site!

Guest: Hoover (633 days ago)

gatesy probably read about the financial trouble car makers are in these days followed by his bank statement. yep you can make a mint by selling rubbish