07.30 - The Rock 'n Roll Years 629 AD - A look back at the events of the last year, including the execution of 2,300 dissidents and the opening of a new French oil refinery.
08.00 - FILM: Saddambusters - Dramatisation of the glorious 1991 Iraqi victory in Kuwait.
09.30 - Have I Got Genocide For You - Celebrities make weapons of mass destruction out of everyday objects.
10.00 - Holiday - The team check out nice places for the Saddam family to retire. Featuring: North Korea, Rhodesia and France.
10.30 - M*U*S*T*A*S*H
11.30 - Tomorrow's World - New torture inventions for scientists who refuse to make nuclear bombs.
12.00 - Green Peter - The total amount of smallpox virus bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed. Also - three ways to burn a flag, and how to make a President Bush effigy.
12.30 - Only Fools and Camels - Dhal-Boy offloads some dodgy French rocket-launchers to a bloke from Hamas.
13.30 - Koranation Street - Deirdrie faces execution by cat o'nine tails for being a shiite. Benny is hung upside-down for being homosexual.
14.00 - Question Time - Members of the public face awkward questions from the Secret Service.
15.00 - Allah McBeal
15.30 - You've Bin Ladened - Amusing footage shot secretly in Iraq's prisons. The film-makers were also secretly shot.
16.00 - Middle-East Enders - The entire cast is beheaded for not saluting when Saddam comes on the telly.
16.30 - Sadd's Army - The Basra-on-Sea home guard repel another attack by evil, imperialist, Zionist backed infidels. Fraser has his willy hacked off for stealing some of Corporal Jones's sausages.
17.00 - Wheel of Terror
17.30 - Talitubbies - Dipsy and Tinky-Winky make nerve-gas.
18.00 - FILM: Saddam's Angels - The three burkha-clad sleuths gom undercover to expose an evil scheme to bring democracy and free speech to Iraq.
19.30 - Big Brother - Who will be taken to Baghdad and executed this week?
20.30 - Xena: Modestly Dressed Housewife - Xena stays at home in a mask and does some housework.
21.30 - Buffy the Yankee Imperialist Dog Slayer
22.30 - The Sky At Night - What to see in the Iraqi night sky during March: including B52 Bombers, Stealth Fighters and Cruise Missiles.
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