1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. 4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps. 5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator. 6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible. 7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly. 8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden. 10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. 11) You never know where to look when eating a banana. 12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat. 13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly. 14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball. 15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses. 16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school. 17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad. 18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity. 19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches. 20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush. 21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong! 22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. 23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited. 24) You never ever run out of salt. 25) Old ladies can eat more than you think. 26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog. 27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something. 28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. 29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. 30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug. 31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard 32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with. 33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. 34) Bricks are horrible to carry. 35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
Guest: Matt Farley (9 days ago)
Hahahahaha... I could've written this myself! Brilliant. Only this evening I was burning stuff in the garden poking it with a stick and wandering if I'd get stern letter from the council!
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Guest: guest JC (37 days ago)
If you disagree with any of these truths then its not the list thats wrong its you. You are universally untrue. These are all true, God told me
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Guest: Locke Ness Monster (41 days ago)
Thats a stupid list. You're only stating mildly silly random occurances, most of which are downright retarded, none of which really classify as a "Universal truth". Weak humor.
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Guest: Jules (51 days ago)
Ditto on growing up in the 80's and typing in 55378008! And why is it that triangular sandwiches tastes better?
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Guest: jtfft (130 days ago)
The whole time I was reading this, I was nodding my head. It's amazing how true this all is. However, I was born after the 80's and I still typed 55378008 in a calculator. Because it's hilarious.
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Guest: Goddamnuser (151 days ago)
this is really funny, but someone really should attribute it to dave barry, who as far as i know wrote it first (or at least most of them)
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Guest: o (172 days ago)
this is what number 9 is supposed to be. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
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Guest: Morna x (198 days ago)
lmfao, i ws actually guna hav cup-a-soup erliur 2day n ws contemplating puttin it in a bowl.. n then i didnt lmao, quite amuuused x
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Guest: Richard (205 days ago)
14 is icredibly true! I even found a bouncy ball in a garden in a town 3 hours from Beijing on my school trip there this year!
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Guest: Anna Nimous (205 days ago)
My favorite is definitely #11. I would like to add an addendum to #16. I do not remember a dog running in, but I'm sure everyone always remembers the kid that breaks something (arm, head, etc.)
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Guest: Danno (207 days ago)
Jezz, this is more like universal truths for some random guy in the UK.. I mean, some of these are so random and ridiculous. Finding a bouncy ball in an overgrown garden!?? Ummm... NO lol
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Guest: fudd (215 days ago)
#22 is just plain wrong. There is nothing uncool about Frisbee. (Except for the abomination known as Ultimate.)
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Guest: bsdemigod (221 days ago)
OK so I know this makes me a bit of a nerd but an addendum to #30 is a d4 dice on a similar colored carpet. Look it up if you don't understand to see what I mean.
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Guest: Jezach (222 days ago)
http://inventors.about.com/b/2004/07/04/who-invented-the-coa- t-hanger.htm srry, i couldn't help myself
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Guest: Gonzo (224 days ago)
I have some problems with these as "universal truthts" 16) I've never heard even one 'dog in school' story 20) I haven't, but then again, after reading this, I probably will... 24) I've run out of salt plenty of times 26) Really depends on the size of the dog in question 29) I have The rest of them are good though :)
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Guest: Muffin (254 days ago)
This is a list made be the English comedian "Peter Kay". Just so you know. As for it making bigoted gender assumptions....shut up. You have no sense of humour.
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Guest: anonymous (258 days ago)
12 contradicts itself. Also; 7, 13, 26 and 32 make bigoted gender assumptions. Most people would overlook them, or wouldn't even notice. Oh well, it's the Internet.
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Guest: kris (265 days ago)
haha i agree strongly with almost all of them, except ive honestly never noticed lots of people on crutches before on the same day, maybe now i will.
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