Chuck Norris believes what goes around comes a roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris' beard hair is believed to be an aphrodisiac in China.

You can't squeeze blood from a stone... but Chuck Norris can.

Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.

Inspired by the movie Alien vs. Predator, Chuck Norris has begun work on a screen play tentatively titled, "Alien, Predator, Frankenstein, Wolfman, The Mummy and a Whole S*itload of Vampires vs. Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris is the reason the participants of the Special Olympics are special.

The reason there has been so many different Batman's is because Chuck Norris kept killing them off.

When Chuck Norris is smiling, he just killed your dad.

The helicopter was invented after Chuck Norris was observed doing 8 roundhouse kicks a second.

Chuck Norris sank the Titanic with a slow-motion roundhouse kick because Chuck Norris can't stand that Celine Dion song.

Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

Much like the sun, Chuck Norris will cause blindness if looked at for prolonged periods of time.

Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with barbed wire.

The only reason the American military forces are still needed in Iraq is because Chuck Norris is not in the American military forces.

Chuck Norris can take a dump while standing.

The world population divides into two groups, those who fear Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 minutes in 22 seconds.