RUGBY WORLD CUP
List of Rules (Read and print them)
1. From 7 Sept to 20 October 2007, you should read the sports section
of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding
the RugbyWorld Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the
conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a
bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not
receiving any attention.
2. During the RugbyWorld Cup, the television is mine, the VCR and DVD
are all mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a
glimpse at the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't
mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without
distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make
sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I
won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the
RugbyWorld Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a
refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you
expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or
pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the
fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and
please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to
watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between
12pm and 3pm, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the
6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams
is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a game", or "don't worry,
they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me
angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know
more about rugby than me and your so called "words of encouragement"
will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to
me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if
the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying
"one" game, hence do not use the RugbyWorld Cup as a nice cheesy
excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the tries are very important I don't care if I have
seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times,
and record them.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related
parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to
watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily RWC highlights show on TV every night is just as
important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but
you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to
something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of
12.And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank goodness
the RugbyWorld Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words
because after this comes the 2011 RWC etc.
13. Do not complain that my new beard is "scratchy" or makes me "look
like a caveman". Showing my support for the Springboks by growing a
beard is more important to me than our relationship. If you don't love
your country as much as me, then that makes me sad, and you should
leave. Quietly and during the ads if possible.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Men of theWorld Cup