Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles, Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,"Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Smart Ass Answer #1:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

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Smart ass answers

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Guest: Nikkkiiiiiz (2516 days ago)
Lmfao at the last one !
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Lmfao at the last one !
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Guest: tim (2444 days ago)
umm..wow. that last one was great. thats the first i have ever heard of a teacher saying that. lol. it was great.
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umm..wow. that last one was great. thats the first i have ever heard of a teacher saying that. lol. it was great.
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Guest: amber (2479 days ago)
bill engval anybody?
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bill engval anybody?
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Guest: Abbiie (2472 days ago)
Except Bill Engvall is I was delivering that overpass and ran out of gas plus he says it funnier :)
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Except Bill Engvall is I was delivering that overpass and ran out of gas plus he says it funnier :)
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Guest: LilZ (2474 days ago)
Lmao!!!=D
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Lmao!!!=D
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Guest: Bella (2478 days ago)
Number one most definitely! Haha
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Number one most definitely! Haha
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Guest: Mrs Outlaw (2371 days ago)
I gotta say that last one had me laughing hard!!!!
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I gotta say that last one had me laughing hard!!!!
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Guest: Kevin (2392 days ago)
Amusing but all completely made up,
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Amusing but all completely made up,
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Guest: Nora (2473 days ago)
Ahahaha #1 is great!
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Ahahaha #1 is great!
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Guest: Guest (2384 days ago)
that last one -- so funny!! I hope I have the chance to use that teacher's line sometime at my college!
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that last one -- so funny!! I hope I have the chance to use that teacher's line sometime at my college!
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Guest: beccamae1369 (2409 days ago)
last one is the best
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last one is the best
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Guest: (2528 days ago)
awesome haha
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awesome haha
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Guest: lu (2458 days ago)
BAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
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BAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
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Guest: Maya(: (2473 days ago)
Lmfao, I love this!!
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Lmfao, I love this!!
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Guest: ATTION (3453 days ago)
Number two is a joke told by Bill Engvall
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Number two is a joke told by Bill Engvall
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Guest: Mukphly (2362 days ago)
Latest comment: The former NFL player Mark Gastineau was returning to his locker after a post game shower when he asked a female reporter if she knew what this was (referring to his junk) to which she replied "It looks like a penis, only smaller".
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Latest comment: The former NFL player Mark Gastineau was returning to his locker after a post game shower when he asked a female reporter if she knew what this was (referring to his junk) to which she replied "It looks like a penis, only smaller".
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Guest: Anon (2456 days ago)
learn to blog. cite the authors.
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learn to blog. cite the authors.
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Guest: Gina (2409 days ago)
Number 5 is so dang funny!
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Number 5 is so dang funny!
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Guest: Peter (2459 days ago)
answer #1 is by far the most clever!
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answer #1 is by far the most clever!
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Guest: Hyde'marie (2398 days ago)
lmao!!!!!! the last 1!!!
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lmao!!!!!! the last 1!!!
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Guest: Left Hand (2482 days ago)
Epic LOL #1!
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Epic LOL #1!
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Guest: l, (3415 days ago)
lol @ #1
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lol @ #1
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Guest: Ella (2475 days ago)
more please! ROFL
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more please! ROFL
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Retzypoo Retzypoo (3385 days ago)
Haha... Pretty ace... I like em :D
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Haha... Pretty ace... I like em :D
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Guest: Britt (2480 days ago)
I love the last one! :D
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I love the last one! :D
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