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98%VideoFeb 2012

Brain dead teen, only capable of rolling her eyes and texting

(3:10) The Onion goes beyond the facts and reports on the story of Caitlin Tegart, who at the age of only 12, lost her ability to do anything but roll her eyes and text.


95%VideoOct 2012

The Onion's guide to the presidential candidates - Mitt Romney

(4:10) Election day is fast approaching. To help you prepare, here is The Onion's in-depth voter's guide to Mitt Romney and Barack Obama.


94%VideoAug 2012

GOP fight to keep elderly voters alive until November

(2:45) Republicans are reminding seniors of their final duty, to not die before voting day.


94%VideoJun 2011

Al Qaeda populate US with decoy Muslims

Former prosecutor Shelby Cross warns of peaceful decoy Muslims infiltrating American society. Be on your guard, better to be safe and embarrassed, than dead. News report from The Onion News Network.


94%VideoNov 2013

The Onion looks back at 'The Shining'

(3:41) The Onion's head film critic Peter K. Rosenthal looks back at Stanley Kubrick's horror classic 'The Shining'.


94%VideoMar 2014

Report reveals leading cause of death in US

(1:25) The Onion reports on a long awaited study by the Department of Health and Human Services on the most common causes of death in the US, which bizarrely turns out to be the shortage of angels.


93%VideoSep 2012

Ted Allen cooks his favourite pretentious food

(1:48) Celebrity chef Ted Allen shows how to make obnoxious, contrived meals for your dickhead foodie friends.

93%VideoMar 2012

Woman sets record for longest time talking about herself

(2:37) Today Now! welcomes Linda Johnston, the inspiring woman who made history by talking about herself continuously for over fifty hours.


92%VideoMar 2008

The Onion - China celebrates status as world's top polluter

Chinese ambassador exuberant that his country has achieved such a high status


92%VideoAug 2008

The Onion - Gap unveils 'For Kids By Kids' clothing line

Shows what kids can accomplish with a little hard work